ARGHHHHHH

I thought maybe I would eventually post this link to my facebook, but I don't want to anymore. Which means this will always be floating in the internet world and no one will see it, SOOOO I'll just rant about my boyfriend. DO NOT EVER DATE CONAN FUCKING SMEETH. he will not text you, he will not ask you to hang out, he will not touch you on your hips when you kiss, he will only HIT YOU ON THE HEAD WITH AN EMPTY 2 LITER BOTTLE OF DR. PEPPER. he doesn't care that you're sitting alone in your underwear in your dorm room watching garden state on a friday night. hell no. does he care that the snuggling in the movie made you cry because you wish you had that? hell no. he'll just play strip foosball with his fucking hallmates. sure, he has his good moments. but the bad outweighs the good. why am I still with him? I have no idea. I have every reason to break up with him. I have done everything right, and I can't say the same for him. the worst thing is, I told him what he needed to do to shape up. granted, I only told him about texting me and initiating the hang outs, but still he should realize what else he's doing wrong. today is our 6-week anniversary and the last time I saw him today was at 1:45. wouldn't he wanna hang out with his girlfriend on a friday night? and I know the answer might be no if we hung out all the time. BUT WE DON'T. we barely see each other and we barely text. this is hardly a relationship.

but when I'm with him I'm not mean to him like I should be. it's like when I 'm walking to his room (because god forbid he make the trip to MY dorm) I'm thinking that I should give him shit, but then I walk in and he smiles and I smile and it's like YELL AT HIM. but I don't. it's like I have a FUCK CONAN mindset and then a OMG I LOVE CONAN mindset. if I had a bunch of friends and some guys on my tail, I'd so dump him. I'd be willing to hang out with him, but soooo not as a girlfiend. but to be honest, he's one of the only people I hang out with at college. I haven't quite found my niche yet, and believe me that's a whole different story. but I need a friend in him and I don't know if he'd be willing to give me that if I broke up with him. so I'm staying with him. how messed up is that?

what I would like from him is to walk through my door this instant and apologize and say that he needs me. will that happen? NO. CHANCE. IN. HELL.

oh and hey, conan if you're reading this. you just texted me. I gave you a little tude in the response. and I don't care one bit!